7 Ways to Avoid Miscommunication In the Family

Zakwan Shah
November 23, 2024
4 min
Disagreements, conflict and quarrelling happens in every family. That is just what naturally happens when you live with other people in such close quarters.

Some might expect blood relatives to always live in peace and harmony regardless of whatever trials and tribulations they may face.

But that might not be the case every time.

Families can quarrel because of differences of opinion, unfair accusations and even innocent remarks taken out of context.

There may also be plenty of times when both parties are lost in translation, and the intended message never comes through.

Here are a few tips on how to avoid miscommunication among your family members.

Recognise the Problem

One of the reasons why miscommunication may never be never resolved in a family is because no one wants to admit that it's happening.

In some Asian households, it may seem important to keep up pretenses.

Parents may be expected to know everything and the children to obey without question. But communication goes both ways.

If you don't communicate your expectations clearly, then there will be arguments. Also, your children have their own opinions and ideas too.

It's important to play it by ear and hear their thoughts on decisions that affect the family. Even if it's something as simple as what to eat for dinner.

Don't Withhold Information

Keeping secrets, leaving out details and bending the truth are the perfect recipe for miscommunication.

You can't expect your loved ones to read your mind. Any pertinent information that may affect how things are to be done should be disclosed the moment the conversation starts.

If you're asking your spouse to buy tissue paper, make sure you clarify the type, brand and price limit. This is just a simple example, of course.

It's often much more complicated in real life.

For instance, not voicing out your dissatisfactions can also be a form of miscommunication.

So, always be clear cut and precise when you communicate your wants and needs with your family members.

But in the same vein, don't bombard them with so many details that it becomes patronising.

Write It Down

Some families may own refrigerator whiteboards where they can leave notes for each other.

This can be useful if you rarely get face-to-face time due to work or school responsibilities.

In this modern age, some of us just text each other.

But as convenient as text messages may be, they can also be easily missed or forgotten.

So, having something written down for you to see everyday can be a great way to remind your family members of chores and errands.

While it can be passive aggressive to leave written notes, there are ways to lessen the blow. A smiley face or an affectionate sign off can definitely make the task less like a chore and more of a favour.

Think Before You Speak

While it's important to be clear when we communicate, it's also important to foster good relationships to ensure good communication in the future.

One of the things that may jeapordise this is negative comments.

At times, some may not think twice about what they say because we are comfortable being around our loved ones.

Words may come out on a whim that could be hurtful or unkind when taken out of context.

However, this can sometimes be hard during moments of heightened emotional turmoil. We may say things out of anger that we don't really mean.

And when that camaraderie is broken, it can be hard to communicate in a harmonious or respectful way afterwards.

Avoid Sarcasm

When trying to discipline or advise your kids, try not to use sarcastic tones.

Those remarks might sound innocent or even funny to some adults, but they may be hurtful to a child.

It is also the kind of ambiguous, indirect language that tends to get misunderstood all too easily. Alongside hints, suggestions and jokes.

Even sarcasm in general when not used to convey a useful message can be harmful. Things like their body composition, eating habits, hobbies or even their fashion sense should not be made fun of.

This also applies when talking to your spouse. Your intent to be humorous may bubble up later in the future from old resentments.

Being sarcastic about past miscommunications can also perpetuate more of this animosity. Which brings us to the next point.

Don't Dredge Up the Past

Some parents may have brought up past sacrifices to guilt trip their kids into silence.

It may work at times, but here's why you shouldn't do so.

When we think about communication, we don't just consider our intention, facts and delivery. We also have to factor in trust, respect and cooperation.

If your kids are wary, tired or annoyed about talking to you, then whatever communication you attempt with them will fall apart.

One of the things that people, not just kids, hate is when you keep recalling the past in a non-constructive way. So, they may avoid talking to you altogether if all you do is repeat ancient history.

Let Go of Pride

Oftentimes miscommunication occurs because of pride.

A previous argument may have soured the relationship, leading to reluctant conversations and cold shoulders.

Instead of saying "Yes, I will do that" you may just grunt or shrug your shoulders.

When it comes to clear communication it's important to respond accordingly.

But if you're holding onto a grudge, you may not be receptive or open-minded to tasks and expectations.

So, if a disagreement has occurred, make sure to make amends before it affects all of your future communication.

Breaking Down the Communication Barriers

Even when we try to talk to our family members in a clear and precise manner, there will always be barriers and challenges standing in the way.

One or both parties may not be good listeners, or there may be some information that neither person knows.

That is why we must always be as transparent as we can when we try to convey our expectations, when we delegate tasks and when we ask for favours.

Otherwise, we may get unsatisfactory, disappointing or even opposite results than we intended.

So, anytime you have a conversation with your spouse or kids, be sure to voice out exactly what you want, how it should be done and what is expected of everyone involved. Even if that includes yourself.

Smooth communication is always within reach. All it takes is a little effort, some experience and a whole lot of patience.

You've got this, parents!

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For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

Looking For a New Hairdo for Your Kid? Try Out Any of These Kids Hairstyles for Boys

Huril Fauzi
October 15, 2022
4 min
Who doesn't love ruffling kids soft and silky hair? Stylish hairdos are not just for women and girls. There are also various kids' hairstyles for boys that you can try out for your little guy!

15 Kids Hairstyles for Boys That Look Fun & Dapper

Side Brush

Image credit: haircutinspiration.com

Side brush is an easy kids' hairstyle for boys during special occasions. This gentleman's haircut will look stylish on your boy. You can transform his undercut to make it look voluminous by creating a clean side part and brushing the top with some wax on.

Crew Cut

Image credit: Getty Images

Kids' hairstyle for boys that are classic do not just look cool, but also practical. A crew cut is basically a very short cut, but still look tidy and stylish enough for boys. It is easy to maintain, but if you want to keep it this way for a long time, you would have to regularly trim it.

Shortened Textured

Image credit: Pinterest

This is an easy hairstyle that even your little boy can do. All you need is some wax and simply tousle the top of the hair. Just remember to not overdo it or it will definitely look messy!

Side Part Quiff

Image credit: Pinterest

The side part quiff is a popular toddler hairstyle, especially when going for parties or photoshoots. This style is a polished and elegant style that looks modern and classic at the same time. Simply define the hair with a side part and style the quiff by brushing the hair upwards and backwards.

Curly Undercut

Image credit: Pinterest

The curly undercut is reasonably suitable for toddlers with curly hair. It is practical and looks edgy at the same time. Simply trim the sides and leave as much hair at the top as possible. You can then either style the hair with wax or leave it drooping down at the sides.

Front Side Sweep

Image credit: southernliving.com

This trendy side sweep is a modern haircut that has been around for a while. The main reason this style is so popular with boys is because there is an endless variety of ways to pull it off! This hairstyle makes the hair appear fuller, giving your kid a dapper look.

Medium-length Spike

Image credit: Instagram @r.braid

If your kid has a medium-length hair, it would look very edgy with a spike style. Simply use a type of wax that can hold the style for a long time. This would look well if you get 'fade' style sides, which means the sides are shaved in a gradient length from top to bottom.

Ivy League

Image credit: Pinterest

As you may well know, Ivy League refers to the elite private universities in the States. You can be sure this hairstyle has an aristocratic air to it. The style is a type of crew-cut where the hair on the front of the head is long enough to style with a side part, while the crown of the head is cut short.

Slick Back

Image credit: Pinterest

When in doubt, go for the slick back style! You simply need a comb and some strong-hold wax, and your little guy will look dapper and ready to go. Slicked back hair is achieved by growing the top hair long and leaving the sides medium in length.

Straight Layered

Image credit: dmer.org

If you boy has naturally straight hair that refuses to cooperate much, try to play around with layers. With layers, you can add texture, shape, and dimension to his hair without having to do anything complex. For better effects, apply strong-hold wax and tousle the top a little bit.

Layered Fringe

Image credit: Pinterest

Any type of fringe will usually look adorable on kids. A fringe is a perfect hairstyle for a relaxed and casual feel. A layered fringe can look really edgy and modern with minimal styling.

Side Part Haircut

Image credit: Instagram @notorious.edd

For a minimal and clean look, find a parting on your kid's hair that falls naturally, and cut to side part style accordingly. This kids hairstyle for boys is simple and clean with minimal maintenance.

Short & Spiky

Image credit: Men's Hairstyle Tips

Another style that you can try if your son's hair is relentlessly straight is to go for a short length with spiky style. It could be that the spikiness will come about naturally, or you can make it so by using strong-hold wax or gel.

Beach Waves / Surfer

Credit: Men Hairstyles World

Beach waves locks are usually associated with girls. But if your son has long enough hair, he could certainly have beach waves hairstyle! His hair does not have to be too long, but he can still achieve the desired effects using a light mousse.

Top Knot Undercut / Samurai

Image credit: AtoZ Hairstyles

Another option if you son has adamantly straight hair is to grow it out and get an undercut. Leave the top part long so he can tie it up in a top knot! This look will instantly make him look cool like a Samurai, but it will probably only be feasible during the school holidays.

As you can see, kids' hairstyles for boys are aplenty. Consider letting your kid explore and have fun playing around with snazzy styles for their manes. He'll be happy and so will you, mummies!

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For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

 

6 Sacrifices to Make as a Family During Inflation

Zakwan Shah
July 29, 2022
3 min
We all require the basic necessities for life: food, air and shelter. But as we grow as a society over the years, other things have also become more and more important: education, occupation, transportation and telecommunication. However, despite our growing love of modern comforts and luxuries, there are definitely things that we can forgo, especially if it means securing a better future for ourselves and our loved ones. If you're thinking of cutting back on expenses, saving a little more for rainy days or just living a minimalistic life, here are 6 things you can live without as a family.

Satellite TV

Television used to be one of the main sources of entertainment back during our pre-Internet days. But many are now turning to online streaming services like Netflix to access movies and television shows. However, many Malaysian families may still subscribe to satellite television like Astro. While it's definitely fun to have, it can put a strain on your finances, especially since the packages are quite expensive. And you have to add on extra fees for special channels. So, in the grand scheme of things, online streaming platforms definitely takes the cake. You get hundreds more options for less.

Subscriptions

Expanding on the topic of satellite television, there are also a ton of other subscription-type contracts that you will accumulate throughout the years. With the exception of your phone line and Internet bills, which in this modern age, is quite the necessity for work and education, you may not need anything else. Whether it's online subscriptions like YouTube Premium, Spotify, Apple Music, etc, or gym memberships and the like. However, this doesn't mean you should unsubscribe from everything. Not if you can still somewhat afford a budget for entertainment or fitness. Simply choose the service that you use the most, or the ones that you enjoy using.

Movie Theatres

Going to the cinema is such an exciting time for kids. Chances are you may still remember your first time going to a movie theatre as a child and how enchanting it was. But as fun as it is, it's definitely something that you don't need to be doing frequently, not if you want to tighten your belt. So, it's wise to forgo the cinema and just wait for the movie to eventually come onto your preferred streaming service.

Air-Conditioning

Malaysian climate can make even staying indoors a nightmare. And unless your home isn't properly ventilated to let hot air out and cool air in, you may face a few problems without the aid of air-conditioners. The downside? It can be costly. But there is a way to minimise (or rather, optimise) your use of the air-conditioner in order to save money without sacrificing your comfort. For example, turning it off a few hours before bedtime instead of leaving it on all night while you sleep will still keep your room cool without spiking your electric bill.

New Books

Trips to the bookstore are a staple outing for all families. You get to buy books for your kids and even catch up on your own reading. But investing in a library card is far cheaper and more worthwhile than buying tons of books that will only end up taking up space in your house. Books usually contribute to a lot of unnecessary clutter in the home. Especially if you buy them just to read them one time. Borrowing from the library also lets you decide if a book is good enough to actually buy. An alternative to libraries includes e-books or audiobooks.

Supplements

Finally, on the list of things that you can definitely live without: supplements. There are dozens of different tablets and capsules filled with multivitamins and botanical blends that promise to address health conditions. We may often take them out of habit but they can often be quite costly and definitely not something you should sacrifice your monthly budget on. As long as you lead an active lifestyle and maintain a healthy diet, you don't really need to eat any additional supplements.

Bare Necessities

There are dozens of other examples of non-essential expenses in your life that you don't actually need to waste your money on. While they may be nice to have, they do add an unnecessary burden to your finances you could otherwise allocate for savings, or for other important future endeavours. Just like how we teach our kids the value of knowing the difference between needs and wants, so too must we do the same as adults. But that's what's so dangerous about being a grown-up, you have to hold yourself accountable for your own money. And that can oftentimes be tough without someone else reminding you not to unnecessarily splurge or overindulge. However, just because you may want to cut back on a lot of the extra expenses doesn't mean you have to live the life of a monk. After all, what's life without a little fun every now and again? Just remember to keep things in moderation.

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For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

 

 

 

6 Unlikely Areas of Your Life That Are Affected by Price Hikes

Zakwan Shah
July 29, 2022
3 min
Inflation and price hikes go hand in hand. We worry about making our money go further, without sacrificing our lifestyle and our comforts. But what many of us may not realise is that rising prices don't just affect things like food, utilities, and petrol. Inflation doesn't just affect our economy and our livelihood. It takes a toll on various parts of our society and our family, whether we know it or not. Here are some unlikely areas of your life you may not think about when inflation hits.

Fashion

If you're a regular fashionista who likes to burn their savings on shopping sprees at your local department store, this inflation may have put a damper on your regularly scheduled weekend shopping sprees. Even if you're well off, you may feel the burn. Even if not immediately when you swipe that credit card, you likely will later when the bill comes. While many of us can get by without owning that new pair of Gucci pumps, the rest of us may find that it's now a bit harder to splurge on unnecessary fashion accessories.

Celebrations and Holidays

While people may not necessarily stop celebrating birthdays, anniversaries and get togethers, you may still feel the pinch the next time you go out for your holiday shopping. This, of course, directly correlates to the rising prices of food and drinks. You may end up going to cheaper restaurants or just resorting to a simple homecooked meal instead of a lavish all-you-can-eat buffet at the local 5-star hotel. Most of us may not usually think often about how much it actually costs to host a party, but these recent price hikes will surely open our eyes.

Personal Grooming

When it comes to looking our best, clothes are just the tip of the iceberg. Some men may have it easier, as long as the price hikes don't affect barbershop fees. But for the rest of us, we may feel the burn from this inflation. Between styling products, haircare, skincare, makeup and perfume, you may find that hole in your purse getting bigger and bigger every time you look. So, be careful about your personal grooming expenses the next time you stop by at your local malls.

Healthcare

Probably one of the worst things to be affected by inflation is healthcare. However, unlike most things, medical inflation is not caused by rising prices of goods, but rather new technological advancements and an ageing population. Some medical expenses may skyrocket a little from inflation, although this rarely happens and the margin is relatively low. However, always ensure that you have an emergency medical fund in place just in case you lose your health insurance or you experience a medical condition that isn't covered. It's always a good thing to be prepared especially when it comes to our health.

Entertainment

Depending on how bad the inflation is, some entertainment establishments may adjust their prices, especially their food and beverages. Karaoke bars, movie theatres, theme parks, arcades and other similar places are just some examples of entertainment locales that you may end up avoiding until the inflation blows over. But those are just the small things. Even going on simple dates or outings can start to feel depressing—especially if you're trying to save and everything suddenly becomes more expensive. Which brings us to the second point.

Relationships

We spend a lot of our money going out with friends and loved ones, doing activities, even if it's just eating out at a restaurant. But some of us may not want to go out as much now that prices are on the rise. And this may not necessarily bode well for those who are used to socialising at expensive cafes or shopping malls when it comes to relationships. There will likely be fewer and fewer people who will treasure the friendship enough to maintain it even without the entertainment factor. You'll truly find out who your genuine friends are during times like these.

Being Grateful for the Small Things

If you're lucky to have deep pockets, then you may not yet feel the impact inflation has on the country. For the rest of the population though, tough times lie ahead. Just like the 2-year pandemic that we experienced where hundreds of people lost their jobs, this inflation will surely have its fair share of casualties. Although probably not as bad as the nationwide lockdown.

It can be humbling to truly appreciate the simple comforts and fleeting luxuries that life has to offer. Hopefully this inflation has taught us to be more grateful for what we have, because once it's gone, there really is no getting it back.

Wholesome Child-friendly Activities for your Family Vacation in Singapore

Zakwan Shah
July 13, 2022
9 min

Staycation in the Wild