Reversing Gender Roles: How You Can Raise Your Children without Stigma

Zakwan Shah
April 07, 2025
4 min
We all know by now how harmful gender stereotypes can be.

And not just for women but men as well.

From education to work to family, society has always put unfair expectations on both men and women.

For those who choose not to conform to any gender identities at all, this reality is compounded.

We see this play out all the time in the real world.

For example when it comes to parenthood, we experience what is known as the ‘motherhood penalty’. Women who are pregnant, TTC or have children tend to be passed off for promotions.

Only recently are we seeing a ‘fatherhood penalty’ as well where the same kind of workplace discrimination is being experienced by men.



This is not to mention the judgement we see a lot from family and friends towards the ‘working mum, stay-at-home dad’ arrangement that many couples enjoy.

In order to end this vicious cycle, we have to start from the bottom - with our kids.

If you’re looking to pave the way for a more equal and fair world, it’s time to teach your children a few things about breaking gender roles.

Raising children without gender role stigma can help foster a more inclusive and equal society and that is a win for everyone - man, woman and every gender in between.

Here are some tips on how to reverse gender roles and raise your children without stigma.

7 Ways to Reverse Gender Roles

Support Their Interests

Probably the best way to break gender norms is to avoid judging or discouraging your child’s interests. Especially if they enjoy doing things that are not typically the norm for their gender.

If your son loves fashion designing or your daughter loves aggressive sports, allow them explore those interests.

Encourage your kids to pursue activities and hobbies based on their passions, rather than societal expectations.

Whether it's sports, arts, science, or any other field, provide them with the resources and support to explore and develop their talents.

Lead by Example

The most direct way you can break gender norms in the home is to practice it in your marriage.

This is not a problem if you and your spouse naturally take over each other’s responsibilities.

Show your children that household chores, caregiving responsibilities, and decision-making are not limited to one gender.

Share household tasks equally with your partner and involve your children in age-appropriate chores to teach them that responsibilities are not based on gender but on contributing as part of a team.

This goes for self-expression too, not just duties or chores.

For example, the colours you wear, the books you read, or the music you listen to. These are all various expressions of gender that you can break and reverse.

Promote Gender-neutral Toys and Activities

We all see so many gendered kids things from books to bags to clothes.

Boys are expected to play with footballs and girls should only play with dolls.

But is this really the kind of backward idea we're still perpetuating?

Encourage your children to explore a wide range of toys and activities without restricting them based on gender stereotypes.

Provide them with a variety of options, such as blocks, puzzles, art supplies, sports equipment, and dolls, so they can choose based on their interests rather than societal expectations.

Avoid Perpetuating Gender Norms

You’d be surprised at all the gender stereotyped objects and ideas that surround us on a daily basis. Sometimes, even as adults we can fall into the same trap.

So, to foster a gender-neutral environment, be mindful of the language you use.

This is especially true when referring to occupations, activities, and characteristics.

Use gender-neutral terms whenever possible to convey that anyone can pursue any career or engage in any activity regardless of their gender.

This even goes for things like colours, clothes, forms of entertainment, personal belongings and even nicknames.

Encourage Open Conversations

Children are naturally curious.

They have questions about all sorts of things including body parts, sex, and of course, gender. They’re never too young to learn about these things in a safe, inclusive way.

Create a safe space where your children can freely express themselves and ask questions about gender roles, stereotypes, and societal expectations.

Engage in open discussions, listen actively, and provide age-appropriate answers that promote equality and understanding.

Be Mindful of Media Influence

Monitor the media your children consume and encourage critical thinking about gender representation.

Discuss and challenge stereotypes and biases they may encounter in books, TV shows, movies, and advertisements.

Possibly one of the earliest forms of gender norms that your child will experience is fairy tales.

While there have been many such storybooks rewritten from a feminist perspective, try out these other books instead.

Shatter those Gender Norms

But most importantly, you should also be okay if they are more comfortable doing things within their traditionally assigned gender roles.

The purpose of fostering a gender-neutral, inclusive home is not necessarily to raise gender-neutral kids.

It’s to allow your child to explore and experiment gender various roles in a safe and conducive way. And to respect and normalise them to gender reversals in other people

Remember, reversing gender roles is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and awareness.

By creating an environment that challenges stereotypes and promotes equality, you can help your children grow into individuals who value diversity, respect others, and pursue their dreams without limitations.

You've got this, my fellow parents!

---

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.

---

For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

20 Unique Father's Day Cake Ideas to Delight Your Dad

Reginald Chan
June 13, 2023
5 min
Looking for the perfect Father's Day gift? Why not whip up something truly special and delicious?

Show appreciation with a homemade cake that will satisfy your father's sweet tooth and create lasting memories.

Here are 20 unique Father's Day cake ideas you won't find elsewhere, ranging from the classic chocolate cake to an extraordinary ice cream cake.

1. The Classic Carrot Cake

With its rich cream cheese frosting, a carrot cake is an exquisite blend of wholesome goodness and indulgent delight.

It's a cake that whispers rather than shouts but remains a firm favourite for many dads.

2. The Luxurious Chocolate Cake

Every chocolate-loving father will enjoy a good old-fashioned chocolate cake.

Enhance it with a layer of whipped cream between each sponge to give it a light, fluffy texture that perfectly complements the rich chocolate.

3. The Chilled Ice Cream Cake

An ice cream cake offers a refreshing change from the norm.

For a creative twist, try using a base of crumbled graham crackers mixed with butter for a crunchy contrast to the smooth ice cream.

4. The Hearty Peanut Butter Pound Cake

A peanut butter pound cake is the answer for fathers who adore peanut butter.

It's a dense, moist cake that beautifully showcases the robust flavours of peanut butter.

5. The Showstopper Layer Cake

Nothing says 'I love you, Dad' quite like a homemade layer cake.

You can experiment with different flavours and colours, perhaps even matching them to your father's favourites.

6. The Zesty Lemon Pound Cake

A lemon pound cake balances sweet and tangy flavours, perfect for fathers with a fondness for citrus.

A glaze of lemon-infused sugar icing gives this cake a sweet, tangy kick.

7. The Exotic Coconut Cream Cake

This cake is layered with rich coconut cream and sprinkled with shredded coconut.

A tropical delight for any dad who dreams of sandy beaches and sunny skies.

8. The Decadent Red Velvet Cake

Treat your dad to a slice of this luxurious classic.

The cream cheese frosting beautifully complements the smooth, chocolatey red velvet.

9. The Delightful Strawberry Shortcake

Fresh strawberries, whipped cream, and a fluffy biscuit base make this cake a surefire hit.

It's a Father's Day gift that's as sweet as refreshing.

10. The Rustic Apple Spice Cake

This hearty cake features cinnamon, nutmeg, and fresh apples for dads who love the flavours of autumn-feel desserts.

A dollop of whipped cream on top makes it even more indulgent.

11. The Wholesome Banana Nut Cake

This cake is a delicious way to use ripe bananas.

Add chopped nuts for a crunchy contrast, and top with cream cheese frosting for extra richness.

12. The Luscious Caramel Layer Cake

Layers of moist cake and creamy caramel make for a mouthwatering dessert.

Sprinkle some sea salt on top for a delicious salty-sweet combination.

13. The Comforting Cinnamon Roll Cake

Inspired by the beloved breakfast pastry, this cake is a swirl of sweet, cinnamon-infused dough topped with a rich cream cheese glaze.

14. The Indulgent Chocolate Mousse Cake

This cake is a dream come true for chocolate lovers.

A layer of creamy chocolate mousse is sandwiched between rich chocolate cake, making it a decadent dessert.

15. The Creamy New York Cheesecake

A classic that never disappoints.

This rich, creamy cheesecake with a graham cracker crust is a testament to the beauty of simplicity.

16. The Tasty Pineapple Upside-Down Cake

This retro dessert features caramelised pineapple slices atop a moist, buttery cake.

It's sure to bring a smile to your dad's face.

17. The Exciting Surprise Inside Cake

This cake has a fun surprise hidden inside.

Whether it's a different-coloured sponge or fun sprinkles, it will surely delight your dad when he cuts into it.

18. The Nutty Pecan Pie Cake

This cake takes the flavours of a classic pecan pie and transforms them into a delicious cake.

It's a unique treat that your dad will love.

19. The Dark and Rich Black Forest Cake

This cake is A classic German dessert layered with chocolate sponge, whipped cream, and cherries.

It's a sophisticated choice for the discerning father.

20. The Delicate French Opera Cake

This elegant dessert consists of thin layers of almond sponge soaked in coffee syrup, layered with ganache and buttercream.

It's a refined treat for a dad with a sophisticated palate.

Summary

As you navigate these twenty unique cake ideas, remember that the most memorable Father's Day gift is a cake baked straight from the heart.

Each ingredient you mix, each layer you assemble, and each decoration you adorn is a testament to your appreciation for your dad.

Choosing the right recipe is just the beginning. As you roll up your sleeves and dive into the process, let your love and gratitude for your father guide you.

This will undoubtedly shine through in your creation, whether it's a classic carrot cake with cream cheese frosting or an adventurous ice cream cake with a crunchy graham cracker base.

When you present your Father's Day cake, it's not just about satisfying your dad's sweet tooth.

It's also about creating shared memories that you both can cherish.

Every bite your father takes will remind him of your thoughtful effort, making his day unforgettable.

So, embark on this exciting baking journey and remember that the secret ingredient is always love.

Here's to a fantastic Father's Day filled with sweetness, joy, and scrumptious cake.

---

For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

Traveling with Pets: Tips and Tricks for a Pet-Friendly Family Trip

Zakwan Shah
August 23, 2023
4 min
You have a trip planned at the last minute.

The hotel is booked, the tickets are bought, but now you realise that there’s no one to babysit your pets this time while you’re away.

Before you call in a favour, why not take your fur babies with you on your road trip?

However, before you pack your pets for that long vacation here are a few things to take note of.

First, your vehicle should ideally be able to accommodate not just your kids, your bags but also your pet’s things.

Remember, you won’t just be bringing along one small animal with you.

You’ll be bringing along their food, their litter box (if any) and their carrier or cage.

So only travel with pet if you can accommodate them.

Second, your pet should already be used to or at least familiar with long-distance travel.

Some pets do not enjoy long hours in a car. The most they can stand is one hour, or a less.

Moreover, when pets are stressed, they may have an accident in the car which only ends in a messy clean-up for you.

Putting your cat in a carrier or cage for long periods of time is also not recommended as it can cause them more stress.



Third, your hotel, motel, chalet, resort etc, should allow pets in, or at least have a pet room or pet accommodations.

Leaving your pet in the car overnight can be dangerous.

Yes, your pet will be lonely and scared, but they can also suffocate, overheat, or stress themselves out.

Fourth, the number of pets you have.

If you have more than one pet, then it may not be possible to take all of them. Especially if they’re large dogs.

Be practical about your ability to manage and travel with multiple animals even if they’re well-behaved.

Fifth, your mode of transportation.

The best vehicle to travel with your pet is ideally a car, which means road trips.

There’s more to travelling pets than you realise.

But if you think you’ve got all these points covered, then you can start planning for your family trip with your pets.

6 Things to Do Before taking Your Pets on a Trip

Schedule a Vet Visit

Before you even think about bringing your pets with you on a family trip make sure to give them a thorough health check.

Make sure your fur babies are up-to-date on vaccinations, and obtain necessary documentation for travel, such as health certificates.

This may be important when you register at a pet-friendly hotel.

If your cat has any medicine they need to take, be sure to follow a regular schedule as well.

Prepare for the Journey

Depending on your pet’s experience, they may have options.

One, they can either roam around in the car without disturbing the driver.

Or two, they might be more comfortable in the safe confines of a carrier (just be sure to leave the carrier door open).

But for air travel, a carrier or cage is compulsory to ensure your pet’s safety and the comfort of other passengers.

Make sure it is well-ventilated and comfortable.

Don't forget to also pack the essentials.

Bring your pet's food, water, medications, bedding, toys, and any other items they need.

Familiar items can help them feel more comfortable in a new environment.

Take Short Practice Trips

If your pet isn't accustomed to traveling, take them on short trips to help them get used to the motion and being in the carrier.

If you can spare some time before the trip, make sure to bring your pets along with you.

This can be short grocery shopping; errand runs or even just a casual drive-around.

They need to get used to being a car (if you’re travelling by car for the trip).

Beside it will also give you plenty practice yourself to take note of their quirks and warning signs.

This is especially helpful in case they need to relieve themselves or are stressed.

Just remember to keep them secure so they don’t interfere with your driving.

Consider Your Pet's Limitations

Take into account your pet's age, health, and energy level when planning activities.

Avoid strenuous hikes or long walks if your pet isn't up for it.

When you’re on the road, plan for regular breaks.

Stop every few hours at an R&R to give your pet a chance to stretch their legs, go to the bathroom, and have some water.

Look for pet-friendly rest areas or parks along your route.

Practice Good Pet Etiquette

Clean up after your pet: Always carry waste bags and promptly clean up any messes your pet makes.

Dispose of waste properly in designated areas. In the same vein, be mindful of others.

Not everyone is comfortable around pets, so be respectful of others' space.

Keep your pet on a leash in public areas, unless it's an off-leash designated area.

Prepare for Emergencies

Sometimes your pet may catch something on their way to the holiday destination.

A change of weather doesn’t always suit certain animals.

So, research nearby veterinary clinics or hospitals at your destination, just in case.

Take Your Fur Babies on a Safe Joyride

Travelling with pets can be a fun experience, but you have to be patient and flexible.

For the pet parents out there, we all know that our little fur babies are as much a part of the family as our kids.

So, it’s nice when we get to experience a family trip with them.

But it’s also important to remember that they are still animals with their own special needs and behaviours.

Travelling to another place can be confusing, scary and even disorienting.

So be sure to always comfort your pet when they need it.

Lastly, ensure they have all they need to have an amazing fun-filled adventure with the whole family!

---

For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

Alternative Options for When You Aren’t Able to Breastfeed

Zakwan Shah
August 01, 2023
4 min
There is no denying the powers of breastfeeding. The magic goes far beyond the milk.

The natural mother-child bonding that occurs is what gives breastfeeding its stellar reputation.

However, this option is not always available to all mums.

Sometimes the milk comes but certain problems with feeding occurs.

Other times, the technique is perfect but no yield comes out.

When this happens, there are still options you can try to make sure that your child receives the nutrition they need to grow.

But if breastfeeding is not possible or not an option for you, fret not!

There are alternative options available to ensure your baby receives proper nutrition.

Here are some alternatives to consider.

5 Breastfeeding Alternatives

Exclusive Pumping

Breastfeeding is a tricky thing. Some mothers are naturals at it but others can have problems with it.

Lactation is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to breastfeeding.

There’s also latching, technique and state of mind.

Stressed mothers are less likely to succeed in any of the above.

But while they may be unable to directly breastfeed, nursing mums can still express milk using a breast pump.

Exclusive pumping is the first line of defence for mums who have trouble mastering the proper technique of breastfeeding but have no problems producing enough milk.

With exclusive pumping, you can provide breast milk to your baby through bottle feeding.

While exclusive pumping requires commitment and dedication, it is the next best thing to breastfeeding.

Donor Milk

If you prefer to provide breast milk to your baby but are unable to breastfeed, you can explore the option of donor milk.

Donor milk banks collect, screen, and pasteurise donated breast milk, making it safe for infants to consume.

This option ensures that your baby receives the benefits of breast milk while also minimising potential health risks.

But you may be asking: ‘Are there even any breast milk banks in Malaysia?’

And the answer is resounding ‘Yes’!

The Queen, Tunku Azizah has launched the first syariah-compliant donor milk bank for Malaysian mothers.

However, the project is still in its infancy stage and may not have enough supply for nationwide demand.

Another option that many mothers often resort to is to look for donors online such as through Facebook groups.

Some look to acquaintances, friends and even family members to help supplement their child’s breastmilk needs.

Combination Feeding

If you’re able to express but are still not making nearly enough milk to satisfy your child, the next option is combination feeding.

This is where you combine breastfeeding and formula feeding to meet your baby's nutritional needs.

This method allows you to provide breast milk whenever possible while using formula for additional feedings.

It offers flexibility and can be adapted to your circumstances and preferences.

However, some mums will find that constantly switching between bottle and breast can cause something known as nipple confusion.

This is where the baby may prefer breast over bottle, or vice versa.

Or in some cases refuse feeding entirely.

So, mums usually stick to bottle entirely.

To implement combination feeding by bottle alone, you can mix equal parts expressed breast milk and formula.

Formula Feeding

If breast milk is totally out of the picture whether expressed or breastfed, then the final option is of course growing-up formula.

However, some parents may decide on this from the get-go without ever trying for human breast milk in any form.

This may be due to medication, underlying conditions or other reasons.

Commercially available infant formulas are designed to provide the necessary nutrients for your baby's growth and development.

There are various types of formulas available, such as cow's milk-based, soy-based, or specialised formulas for specific dietary needs or allergies.

Consult with your paediatrician to choose the formula that best suits your baby's requirements.

Solid Foods

Many mothers want to put their child on breast milk for as long as possible.

Both for economical and nutritional reasons.

Breast milk is free and can sustain a growing child well up until they turn 2 years old and possibly even longer.

Although most try to wean their babies before that.

However, this is not possible for all mothers, especially if they have trouble producing enough breast milk.

Instead of or in conjunction with growing-up formula, the next best thing is nutritious solid foods.

But this is only applicable for babies who are 6 months or older.

One-year-olds can start drinking regular whole cow’s milk regularly if they don’t have lactose intolerance.

If your child is younger, do consult your paediatrician.

Feed Your Baby

Breastfeeding is definitely the gold standard of infant nutrition.

To feed your baby from the breast and with your own breast milk is what allows your child to grow up strong and smart and healthy.

But sometimes this may not be an option for a lot of mothers.

However, there are many choices now like expressed pumping, donor milk, combination feeding and formula milk.

Remember, regardless of the feeding method you choose, it's crucial to provide a nurturing and loving environment for your baby.

With a little patience and a little time, you’ll be able to help your baby get all the nutrition they need in whatever way is the best.

You've got this, mummies!

Source:

1. National Library of Medicine

2. Italian Journal of Pediatrics

---

Take the Biggest Breastfeeding Pledge now, mummies! Stand a chance to get a Certificate of Recognition and a goody bag worth RM100* to be collected during the #motherhoodBFF Breastfeeding Celebration Event!

---

For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!

Combination Feeding: How It Can Help You and Your Baby

Zakwan Shah
August 02, 2023
4 min
Combination feeding, also known as mixed feeding, refers to the practice of both breastfeeding and using formula to feed your baby.

In some cases, some mums even mix formula and breast milk together to supplement their poor yield as a method to discourage nipple confusion.

This practice is common among new mums who are not able to make enough breast milk.

Babies typically need between 50ml to 800ml a day to meet their nutritional needs depending on their age and weight.

There are many reasons why a woman may have trouble lactating: stress, medication, hormones and probably the most common is inadequate milk removal.

This is where the body signals to the mammary glands to decrease milk production if you’re not constantly emptying out your yield i.e. feeding your baby or pumping.

For mums who have trouble making enough breast milk, your baby may not be able to reach their daily caloric requirement.

You’ll probably know immediately if your baby isn’t getting enough milk without measuring their weight or looking at their diaper.

Babies cry when they’re hungry and this is usually a warning sign.

This is usually when you may want to try combination feeding.

Combination feeding is where you feed your baby both breast milk and formula either from bottle to breast or strictly via bottle.

This approach can offer several benefits to both you and your baby.

Here's how combination feeding can help.

5 Benefits of Combination Feeding

Flexibility

Working mums benefit the most out of combination feeding because it gives plenty of rest in between feedings.

Combination feeding provides flexibility and convenience. Especially during those days when you’re just not up for it.

It allows you to breastfeed your baby when you're available and supplement with formula when needed.

This can be particularly helpful when you have work or other commitments that may make exclusive breastfeeding challenging.

It will also give your body a rest when breastfeeding becomes too taxing.

Baby's Nutritional Needs

Combination feeding ensures that your baby's nutritional needs are met. And at the end of the day, that’s what matters.

Breast milk provides a unique combination of nutrients, antibodies, and immune factors that promote optimal development and protection against infections.

And formula is full of healthy fats that ensure your child stays fuller for longer, keeping at bay those unpleasant hunger pangs.

By combining breastfeeding with formula, you can ensure your baby receives the benefits of both breast milk and commercially prepared formula.

Increased Milk Supply

Sometimes mums can get a lot of anxiety from breastfeeding, and this actually decreases their yield even more.

So, formula can be a quick solution to keep your baby satisfied and happy.

Once you’re no longer stressed from your baby crying, you can focus on increasing your milk supply.

Breastfeeding works on a supply and demand basis.

If you are struggling with low milk supply or having difficulty exclusively breastfeeding, introducing formula can help ensure your baby receives adequate nutrition while you work on improving your yield.

Shared Feeding Responsibility

Sometimes dad also wants to join in on the feeding experience.

Combination feeding allows partners or other family members to participate in feeding and bonding with the baby.

When mum is taking a break and swapping out with formula, dad (or grandma) can take turns feeding the baby.

By sharing the feeding responsibilities, it can provide you with some much-needed rest and support.

Especially during the early days when breastfeeding can be demanding.

Extended Breastfeeding Duration

Combination feeding can help prolong breastfeeding for mothers who may find it challenging to exclusively breastfeed for an extended period.

Remember if you plan on exclusively breastfeeding your baby, you’ll have to do ideally so for the next six months after their birth.

So, it’s okay to find an alternative course of action when the reality overshadows the expectation.

Moreover, breastfeeding can have some side effects such as cracked, bleeding or sore nipples. Which puts another hurdle on your breastfeeding journey.

By introducing formula, you can continue to provide some breast milk while gradually transitioning to more formula feedings as needed.

Try Out Combination Feeding for Your Baby

It's important to note that combination feeding may require careful planning and coordination.

This is to maintain a good breastfeeding routine and prevent issues like nipple confusion.

Consulting with a lactation consultant or breastfeeding specialist can provide you with guidance and support to ensure successful combination feeding.

Sources:

1. PubMed

2. Centre for Disease Control

3. National Center for Biotechnology Information

---

Take the Biggest Breastfeeding Pledge now, mummies! Stand a chance to get a Certificate of Recognition and a goody bag worth RM100* to be collected during the #motherhoodBFF Breastfeeding Celebration Event!

---

Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as medical advice from Motherhood. For any health-related concerns, it is advisable to consult with a qualified healthcare professional or medical practitioner.

---

For more insightful stories and fun recipes, stay tuned to Motherhood Story!